Called to Serve....

In our church, we are sometimes called to serve in a calling. It may be working with the primary kids, young women/men or even working with adults by teaching a lesson. There are so many more callings that we could be asked to do. When we were newly married, I was called to work in the primary. I taught the 8 year olds, then I was asked to teach the 5 year olds. When we moved to Blue Springs, Erich and I were called to teach the 11 year old boys which also meant doing scouts with them on Thursday nights. This was the time when I was pregnant with our first child. There were nights that Erich had to work so I went to the church to teach the boys a lesson/activity. At times, it was a challenge. But I know that we were blessed by serving in the primary. After we lost Leanne, we didn't attend church as much as we should. Especially the times when Erich was working on Sundays. I was so worried about going by myself, would I break down and cry in the middle of teaching the lesson. Would the boys understand?? How could I go without my eternal companion going with me? I will admit it, it was so hard to attend church. I knew that I was strong but I am the type of person who lets other opinions affect me. I worry about what others think. At the time, so many prayers were being said about us and our family. I am so grateful for those prayers. Those prayers gave us the strength to move forward. Months later, I was called to be the Relief Society chorister. I was so nervous about leading the music in front of a bunch of women! AHHHH! I didn't even know how to lead the music! A lady in our ward taught me, but I was so nervous. Several women told me that they don't even pay any attention to the leading. Thinking to myself, I was like, yeah, right then why am I leading the music. Anyways, I lead the music for a few months, then Natalie was born premature. We attended church as much as we could, there were some Sundays, that we felt that she needed us more so instead of going to church we went to see her. Needless to say, I was released at the chorister. My thought was, what a relief! Then I began to feel guilty for the Sundays that I missed, that I wasn't there to serve my calling. I hated that feeling. It has now almost been a year since I have held a calling and I really want to serve in someway. I miss being able to serve in our church in some sort of way. I know that I can't just go and ask for a calling. But I can pray that I will receive a calling. Throughout all of my callings, I have enjoying being a part of each one of them. At times, they may not seem easy but they have been definitely worth it. I am so grateful for the sweet moments that I have had serving in my church. I love the blessings that come from serving.