Yesterday, a friend of mine posted on her facebook status; one word that describes me. Well I did the same. Doing this made me feel so good inside. Lately, I have been really overwhelmed with everything that has been going on in my life. Life is wonderful, I LOVE being married to Erich, he really is a great man, I LOVE being a mother to Natalie, I LOVE all of my Family and Friends and I am THANKFUL for them in my life. The things that overwhelm me have been seeing a family member struggle, or even a good friend struggle, getting out of debt, we are almost there and oh how I can't wait. When we got married, Erich only had school debt, I was the one with credit card debt. I regret it so much, at times it eats at me and I have stop and remind myself that its okay. I have definitely learned my lesson. At times, I am overwhelmed that we are still living in an apartment and most of our friends and family have beautiful homes that they have bought. I know that we will get there soon enough, its just that I wish we could have a home now. I know, I know, I need more PATIENCE in that area! I worry so much about Natalie...seriously I think about EVERYTHING, her recent surgery, I find myself checking her temperature often, I worry about her head getting bumped, or her falling over when she is sitting playing with her toys. Another overwhelming thing, its not really overwhelming but I really miss my Leanne. I think of her all the time. There are times, I picture her and Natalie playing together on the floor. They would only be 11 months apart. At times, I can invision Leanne and picture what she looks like, brown hair with curls at the bottom, and chubby little cheeks. Her cute little smile that lights up the whole room. Lately, when I have talked about her, I cry. I haven't cried about her in a long time. Oh, how I miss her sweet little face! The last thing that I have been feeling overwhelmed about is will my testimony. I have a testimony of the gospel, I know that Heavenly Father lives, and he loves us. Lately, I feel like I haven't felt his presence. I have struggled these past few months reading/studying my scriptures. I just need to do it! From this day forward...I am going to read/study my scriptures everyday for 15 minutes. Eventually, I will increase the minutes. Another goal is to set a date and go to the temple! I haven't taken the opportunity of going to the temple in nearly 2 years! I really really miss being in the temple, I want to feel of the spirit while I am there. This last week, the bishopic recommended that Erich and I attend the marriage class at church. They mentioned that it doesn't mean that we are struggling its a class that we both could use to help us in the areas that we are weak. I am really excited to take this class. I think that it will help to communicate better and help us understand each other better. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ has blessed my life in so many ways, I am so Thankful for his blessings, for his love and support, for the wonderful family that I have. Sorry if I was rambling or if this was too much personal information. These are just things that I have been thinking about lately. Fill free to leave me with any advice. I would love it!
Here are the list of words that my family and friends posted about me:
Devoted
Loving
Caring
Blissful
Sweet
Incredible
Faithful
Strong
Invisible
Compassionate
Ooooh-la-la
FullofLife
Great-Friend
Caring
Grateful
Example
Smiley
Sweet
Patient
Friendly
Crazy
Bubbly
Precious
Crafty
Thanks to all those that posted a one word that describes me. Doing this totally made my day! Thank you all so much!
5 comments:
I read your post and was thinking about it. You have so much to be grateful for, never loose site of it. I know its got to be hard missing Leanne, (((HUGS))) allow yourself to miss her, to mourn for her Becky. She is your baby, and remember your sealed eternally she will always be your baby. You should feel protective of Natalie as well, you have been through alot with her. She has not had an easy start. Just dont forget to enjoy her while you worry. I have known othr moms who have forgotten to enjoy their children with health issues due to the worry. The Marriage class is AWESOME! You guys will love it! Larry and I took it years ago and loved it. It was so good, an eye opener, really made me see things different, him as well. You do not need to have a troubled marriage to take it, it can help even the healthiest marriage. I loved it so much I have the book, I read it several times, each time I learned something new. You guys will love it, listen and be honest and you will grow in your relationship. Kids make it hard to get in scriptures, you can get back to reading daily, start small like you plan and increase as your able, even if you read 5 min a few times a day. I have more I could say, I wont fill up a ton of space rambling. I know we have drifted, you guys do not agree with some of my decisions, you also dont understand some of them, thats ok, I love you and I wish we were closer and had more time for each other.
Love you always
your sister Enjoy that baby!
Here's my tidbit of advice:
Beps...I felt the same way as a new mother. One thing that has helped me is to not be too hard on myself. I realized that no new mothers have time to go to the temple or read scriptures as often as they'd like. But the fact that you want to is enough for now...and when you can you'll do it. Just hang in there and do the best you can! Remember that being a loving mother is what Heavenly Father needs you to be doing right now. He understands and knows how exhausting it all is.
It must be hard to be missing Leanne so much...just keep in mind that she did know Natalie in heaven and Leanne may still be very close to Natalie right now and throughout her life.
Overall, it sounds like you are overwhelmed with a lot of the same things as any mother of a young child....it gets easier :) Hang in there! And like I said, don't be too hard on yourself, if you say a prayer while falling asleep in bed that's better than no prayer at all :)
Love ya!
Liesl
well put! Being a mother is hard, tiring, over whelming. Do what you can, give yourself a break. I wish I was there to help you once in a while. Read your scriptures when you can, fall asleep praying, wake up finishing. Keep a prayer in your mind and heart all day as you go about doing what your doing, or at least try. The Lord knows your doing your best. And your most important calling and job is being a mom to your baby, a wife to your husband. Just do your best. There is a song Call on Jesus. I love it and listen to it a lot. You can find it on You Tube
Its a good reminder that he is there and will carry you through everything thrown your way.
heres a link to the words
http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/nicole-c-mullen/call-on-jesus.html
Hey! I know how hard it is to go to the temple when you have little ones! I don't know if you know anyone who lives in St. Louis, but we live just down the street (highway) from the temple, and if you ever would like to do a session or ANYTHING with you husband, just let me know! I could even hang out in the ancillary building with your little one while you're in there! It would be my pleasure!
Also, read the VT message for September. I thought it was exactly what I needed to hear during times when I'm struggling with scriptures/prayer/temple, and it talks about just getting back to the basics!
Beautiful post. I think that it's great when we women talk about these things! Every one of us experiences overwhelming times...and you my dear, have things that other people have not had to go through! That's why I think you are so amazing and incredible, and such a good example. And it's okay to feel like this and to cry, and to talk about it. I believe that it's healthy. It helps us to feel better just talking about it and realizing that we are not alone. I would have the exact same worries as you if my child had just had surgery. I'm glad you got a pick-me-up on facebook. We need those things every once in a while!
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